progress

As you all are probably well aware, I have been quite busy these last few months. I apologize for the delinquency of my not posting, but I have fallen into very little cooking and experimenting for many reasons.

First off, I was busy on a surgery rotation where I was at home so not alone was I scarfing down whatever I could feasibly find in a period of time so I didn't get hypoglycemic in surgery, I had my mom cooking for me. We did find the glories of how to bind a black bean burger appropriately--I can't buy fake meat or anything frozen because there's generally yeast. For some reason, my mom tried black beans with couscous to bind it and it generally works. I have subsequently been glorying in the modified burger--a biscuit, black bean burger, a slice of cheese, and appropriately safe ketchup. I have missed burgers so this has become a new standard while I've been home.

The other reason I've been busy is that I've been travelling with interviews (thus the accident with the chicken--that happened at a pre-interview dinner). Getting vaguely nauseous eating McDonald's fries, making my car reek of bananas as I travel with banana skins, dripping honey from biscuits my mom sent me forward with...it's been an adventure.

Oh, and for people who want to know what I ate for Thanksgiving--mashed sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, candied carrots, and green beans. Cherry tarts for dessert.

On an allergen front, this is the time of year that I really become retrospective. Both Thanksgiving and Christmas are heavily oriented around food. I have already become creative trying to avoid the nut-encrusted gifts that have been given to us in the office for the holidays. I pray daily about what will be coming in as Christmas approaches. Holidays that are focused on big meals make me confront the fact that I can't eat like everyone else. My family general celebrates with just us, so it's been doable but it's still up front for me.

And it's been difficult because I've had to come to grips with the fact that they're getting worse. Some things are getting better, so there is some good news, but for the most part, things are going downhill and rather rapidly too. I have spent far too much time recently with abdominal pain and the much more frustrating specter of nausea--can't move, don't want to go anywhere nausea. Standing next to the sink/toilet because I know I'm going to vomit. It has never been like this before. In fact, nearly two years ago, when I was diagnosed, I scoffed at the idea of food allergies--abdominal pain? Nausea? Vomiting? Not me!

For example, I have been able to eat eggs and know the reaction I would have to them--so I could safely anticipate what was going to happen. I cannot predict it anymore.

I have had days when I have eaten nothing allergenic and still had problems.

I have been getting more rashes on my face--a known reaction to rice, but not to rice in these instances (The other discovery? Sometimes they're scarring, which almost made me cry last night).

I want oh so much to be in denial about this, but I can't. I will soldier on, but it will be difficult. Especially considering in the upcoming weeks, I will turn to preparing to leave for South Africa where I will be less stringently vegetarian and also have to start from scratch with knowing brands' ingredients.

So there it is. Things are not all on the up and up and I'm struggling. But whoever said life was fair?