up to speed

hello all! I've had some revelations re: my food allergies here which are for both the good and bad.

but there's a little something that happened today which was totally disgusting and i had to share...i was at the salad bar at lunch. there is precious little that i can eat in the cafeteria except the salad, so that's where i usually head. i have my doubts about the ingredients in the salad dressing, but i'll get by. regardless of all that, i was waiting patiently behind someone who was in my way at the dressing end of the line and i noticed that as she poured the dressing on her salad, she smeared the ladle all over the hard boiled eggs she had placed on her salad. my eyes about bugged out as i watched her do this three more times (also mind boggling at the calories she just dumped on that previously healthy salad!). it was indeed the dressing i was about to use but i chose something else. but holy cow! if i were anaphylactic, she just contaminated the ladle and also the entire salad dressing by putting it back in the tub.

like i said, mind boggled, eyes bugged. i mentioned something later to a friend and she was surprised that eggs are even allowed on the salad bar anymore and i made the comment that no one's thought about it. you don't think about things like that unless you have to.

speaking of, i just read a fabulous (for me) book called Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life, by Sandra Beasley. she's got the long list like i do, but unfortunately gets the throat-closing, etc anaphylaxis symptoms. Just like I can't eat yeast, which eliminates an unbelievable amount of food, she can't eat dairy. She talks about things like a college roommate eating cheese pizza and talking on the phone. Sandra then picks up the phone and gets hives from the oils left on the phone. That's what came to mind with this lady with the eggs in the cafeteria today (Sandra also mentions the perils of the college cafeteria--too true!).

Regardless, what i loved about the books is that I don't feel so alone in the world. When you have a *list* of food allergies, it can be very traumatizing to go out. She mentions things like having friends at weddings to swipe food off her plate; she had a friend who had a cupcake specially made for her so she could eat cake at that bride's wedding. I have friends with whom I regularly can eat food and trust them so that i don't have to read all the food labels--they're the ones with whom I spent Christmas Eve and also Easter.

It's unbelievable sometimes the tricks I have to implement. Sometimes I can get away with freely admitting to allergies--that happened at a wedding i went to recently, where the cake was served with chocolate covered strawberries. The groomsman sitting next to me asked how I could possibly pass up on a chocolate covered strawberry and I laughed it off, "Easy, I'm allergic!" to which he responded with something like how that was a good reason. Early at this same wedding reception, however, I felt compelled to eat rice. I could eat the fish and green beans and be totally fine with food, but a friend of mine passed me the risotto in a well meaning attempt to make sure I could eat whatever I could. It was okay, I had taken a pill in a preemptive move and damn, was that good risotto, but it came with sacrifice.

I can sometimes slither out of eating things, like the strawberries, or sometimes not, like the rice. It was also difficult when I recently attended a luncheon. I know the cook had done a roundabout check on the food allergies because shrimp and chicken were both offered....with rice. Eggs were completely avoided. Almonds were slivered onto the salad. It was a minefield. And being a small luncheon, unavoidable with being rude and that is a huge thing for me. I muddled through and went home with a pounding headache and some misery later in the afternoon.

Food allergies can also be wielded when i'm feeling malcontent. I was at a party where the hostesses did a very poor job mingling divergent groups of people and just overall it was not a good experience. At the end, they were passing out cookies as a favor...I bluntly said something like no, i wasn't interested, I'm allergic to eggs--completely meaning to make them feel bad. I have had only a twinge of regret over the comment because I truly believe that people should be more considerate of things like that (I also could not safely eat any of the food at the party) but...yeah. I shouldn't wield my food allergies as a weapon.

Either way, none of this is easy on me. I discovered that rice gives me an eczematous rash...ON MY FACE. Also on my leg but that's not as much of a cosmetic sacrifice. It probably explains why I could never get that patch on my leg to clear up. My face has always given me trouble, but has been remarkably clear in the last year or so...the thing about skin? 28 days to regenerate. Which meant that rash was here to stay. I also recently came home from a lunch where, once again, there was nothing I could eat, so I took a pill and powered through some broccoli salad and then remembered that i was allergic to grapes...the raisins in the salad were suddenly little bombs waiting to attack. I spent the afternoon curled up in bed in agony (grapes + eggs).

Nothing about this is easy. As always, it's a reminder for everyone to not take for granted that which we all frequently do...I am reminded on a daily basis how blessed I am to be able to walk and talk and move independently and have a family that loves me...so while I struggle to find anything to eat, it's generally not too much of a sacrifice. Most day. :)

In other news...I did successfully manage to go out to dinner the other night. I cannot remember the last time this happened. And granted, I brought home half of my grilled shrimp entree because I wasn't certain the glaze they put on it was safe (it was, i had the rest last night) but it was a success. I had massive anxiety the whole time my mom and I were out, but it was indeed a success.

Watch out allergy sufferers...pollen is creeping up on us all! (And it makes the food allergies worse, btw).

More recipes to come...I got pinterest to feed my need for allergen-free recipes. :)